Last two years made me realize something. The importance of living your own life. To make your own decisions, which might necessitate the occasional lie to pacify your near and dear ones who are entwined in their worries for you. To really make a deep friendship you have to occassionally flout the rules. Bunk the odd class, sip the odd wine(and find out for yourself that you dont like drinking at all) and gorge on food which your prickly sense of conscience would otherwise tell u is not worth the money and will make you fat. In a sense these shared moments are the only impressions you will remember down the line. ....and definitely not how well you performed in an odd test. Also finding folks having similar frequencies is important. Because as I realized a truly dear friend is someone with whom you can share your frustrations as well as your triumphs. And someone whom you will feel to be just as fallible as you but stronger than you when you need him/her.
To 3 of my dearest friends in IIT,KgP....cheers !!!!
Youtube link for out farewell party dinner speeches: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KG_dl16QQ9s
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
The day was not as hot as the earlier ones. The day was to be the epoch . Mark an end to the monotony of rippling fire that swept across the plains. Yet when the rain came, I felt alone. Now usually being alone is something I enjoy. To not to laugh/smile when you do not genuinely feel like doing so is a blessing. But this rain was different. To watch the dust dissolve in the droplets only to form a murky tide culminating in a whirlpool of emotions was just simply speaking ....confusing. At one end I wanted to do something pretty desperately. Yet my inhibitions kept me back constantly reminding me of the way "I was to be". The helplessness that ensued would sporadically pop up like a jack in the box and punch me in the face ..........then laugh at my sore ego to say........"dude forget it".....
The finer tendrils of my feelings have become so suspicious that they are not aroused easily these days. Perhaps the numbing winter has left its indelible mark on the synapses, paralyzing them to feed into the ever growing lack of my will to commit. Or is it just fear, of not making the right choice, to be laughed at . Dont know really.